Dear Agony
by TotallyLegitPsychic
Summary: Plagued by the memory of the failed invasion of Midgard, Loki is sentenced to spend the rest of his punishment on Earth in a psych ward. Thor is none too pleased. Inevitably, the word gets out to SHIELD, and Tony seems to be developing an uncharacteristic interest in Loki's well-being.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: *rises from the dead and emerges into the FanFiction universe* What did I miss? Yeah, I know I haven't published anything in, like, fifty decades, but I'm back. I started I think three other stories before this one, but none of them even made it past chapter one. It's sad, I know. Anyway, like all of my other stories, I wrote this with what some people call "the seat of your pants" writing style, which basically means, "I didn't plan this out at all, so I apologize in advance since it will most likely be a hunk of nonsensical rubbish." I hope it turns out okay, though. I have a problem with accelerating the plot too quickly, so imma try an' work on that, yo. I use really long sentences a lot too, but you guys are just going to live with that because I don't feel like trying to fix it. And what is this newfangled "pairing" option available for stories now? I don't understand it, man. What does it do AHHH I'm scared to try and use it what if it destroys life as I know it D:**

**Oh also I don't own Marvel or any other copyrighted things mentioned in this story at any time so yeah. I'd prefer not to be sued, but I doubt that even is an issue with things like FanFictions since the whole point is to write about stuff that isn't yours...**

It was quiet, the kind of silence which makes you suspect that something is or is about to go horridly wrong. The eerie lack of noise which accompanies the moment when you realize you've left your four-year-old alone in a room full of your grandmother's fancy dishes, and you're just waiting for that first fateful crash. In short, Thor was becoming extremely suspicious about the current actions and whereabouts of his own personal equivalent to the toddler in the fine china room-a certain mischievous younger brother who, strangely, had made himself uncharacteristically scarce in the past few days. There had been no maniacal giggling, no broken possessions, and no mysteriously bewitched items. It was odd.

So unusual that Thor had considered multiple times going to find Loki and see just what it was the trickster was plotting. It was one of two options: nothing, or something so inexplicably convoluted that it required the total absence of Loki for a lengthy eight days straight. Both seemed equally likely in Thor's mind, but he was almost scared to find out. Loki had always been one for tricks and jokes, although lately his thought process had been steadily growing stranger and more twisted than usual. Half the time he made no sense whatsoever. At first, Thor hadn't thought anything of it-Loki was notorious for his unique way of living life-but honestly, Loki was starting to worry him.

Days ago, Thor had come into Loki's bedchambers to find his brother using what little magic he was permitted to use to levitate upside down, drinking tea that, strangely, found its way into Loki's mouth and not all over the floor as it would have been expected to do.

"What are you doing?" Thor had asked, to which Loki had answered, "Waiting for gravity to realize how silly it's been acting and fix itself." Thor, deeply confused, had simply walked away. He couldn't recall seeing Loki since. That encounter had been about a week ago. Flying under the radar for that long of a stretch was rather unusual for Loki, especially since he had been exceptionally pervasive in the months following his escapade to Midgard. None of it was making very much sense to Thor, and he suddenly found himself questioning why he hadn't confronted Odin about it sooner.

Surely the Allfather knew at least something about what was going on with Loki. Then again, Thor wasn't expecting too many answers, as Odin seemed to like to make things more complicated than necessary, not to mention his affection towards secret-keeping, but Thor decided to seek the truth despite the odds being against him ever knowing the details of the current situation.

"Father," Thor addressed Odin by kneeling respectfully before the throne.

"Yes?" Odin responded.

"I do not believe I have seen any sign of Loki for quite some time," Thor began. Odin simply raised an eyebrow at him, his expression reading something akin to "Oh really?"

"It is odd, is it not?" Thor persisted, hoping that Odin would divulge the location of the missing god.

"I thought you knew," was Odin's reply.

"What do you mean?" Thor frowned. He delved deep into his thoughts, trying to recall if and when anything of importance had been mentioned about Loki. So far he was drawing a blank. Last he knew, Loki was sentenced to incarceration on Asgard until Odin saw fit to return some of Loki's freedom.

"He has been exiled to finish out the remainder of his sentence in a facility on Midgard. His antics were beginning to vex the citizens here, and I am told that he will be cared for during his stay in the mortal world." Odin kept a calm, measured demeanor, his expression varying very little.

"A facility? What kind of facility?" Thor demanded, his voice rising in volume as concern for his brother blossomed in his chest.

"A building of residence for those who are mentally unstable. I hear it is a common thing for mortals to be sentenced to time in those places," Odin answered matter-of-factly.

"But Loki is no mortal, Father! We do not know how their Midgardian methods and medications will affect him!" Thor rose from his spot on the floor as his anger began sparking.

"True, Thor. He isn't mortal. No, he is stronger than any human, so if anything, their medicines will have a smaller effect on him than the average Midgardian. There is absolutely no reason for your concerns. Loki will be more than comfortably accommodated until I allow him to return home."

"At least permit me to visit him," Thor requested, his annoyance quelled slightly with the hope of still being able to spend time with his brother, despite the fact that Loki most likely would prefer if Thor kept his distance.

"Very well, but under no circumstance will you be allowed to attempt to release him without previous instruction from me," Odin forewarned, his single eye staring intensely. Slightly surprised at Odin's unusually quick agreement, Thor barely gave himself time for a quick "thank you" before all but sprinting out of the room.

* * *

Loki could feel the chill from the cool plaster creeping through his clothing as he sat in the floor, knees drawn up to his chest and his back pressed against the wall. Lights out had been called twenty minutes ago, so the only form of illumination came from outside his window and the crack around his door. Sleep beckoned him and it was becoming harder to remain conscious, but for reasons unknown to himself, he chose to stay in his spot on the floor, unmoving and staring at the closed door across from him. Wrapping his arms around his knees, Loki curled up on himself and squeezed his eyes shut. His heart ached for some sort of contact with another living being as the feeling of loneliness and rejection crashed down on him like a ton of bricks. He had lost track of how long he had been trapped in this ungodly institution, but he knew it had been quite a lengthy amount of time.

Long ago he had given up any hope of Thor coming for him, but in the beginning he had dreamt about waking up one morning to find that it had all been a mistake, that he was going home and it was all over, but that morning had yet to come. Loki had lost faith in it ever coming now. He had figured out very quickly during his attempted conquering of Midgard that time passed differently in each of the realms, and it occurred to him that perhaps it had only been a day in Asgard since his banishment. Maybe it hadn't been long enough for anyone to miss him, but then again, it was possible that no length of time could ever be long enough for someone to lament his absence.

Loki wouldn't blame anyone for being relieved over his departure. He knew that nearly every organism with half a brain harbored some resentment towards him. After another ten minutes of quiet brooding, Loki unfolded himself and stood, arching his back to straighten out the kinks in his spine. He hated living here in this mockingly homey room. At first glance, it appeared as a pleasant apartment unit. On closer inspection, one would notice the sturdy bars over the window and the small rectangular hatch on the door used for communication and delivery of meals. Visitors were permitted, but so far Loki had recieved none besides the employees of the facility who brought him food and some sort of medicine that always seemed to leave an unsavory taste in his mouth.

At last giving in to his need for rest, Loki slipped underneath the crisp white sheet neatly folded on the bed. Its cold, stiff texture provided very little comfort, but Loki had grown to be fond of it over the course of his stay. He stayed awake for a long time, listening to the occupant of the room next door ramble on and on about senseless nothings. Yet another thing to loathe: the fact that sound travelled remarkably well through the walls, allowing the person next door hear if you so much as moved. After a while, Loki was able to tune his neighbor out and force himself into a fitful and dreamless sleep. He awoke some hours later to the sound of a door opening and closing, along with a bright light shining in his face.

"Go away," Loki grumbled, pulling the sheet up over his head.

"You have a visitor, Loki," a woman's voice informed. Loki recognized the voice as belonging to one of the attendants who frequently brought his food and medication. He had never bothered to remember her name, but he thought it was something like Juliet. The knowledge that someone had come to visit him both surprised and pleased him; the thought of someone even remotely caring about his well being was reassuring. The woman who was probably named Juliet said a few more words to the visitor, but in his half-conscious state Loki didn't comprehend any of them. He listened to the sound of the attendant leaving the room as he sat up and rubbed his hands over his face.

His eyes fell upon the face of his visitor and suddenly his suppressed hope for release welled up, along with extreme hatred. He grabbed his pillow and sent it flying at Thor, hitting him in the chest with it.

"Why did it take you so long?" Loki demanded loudly. Some would have considered it screaming, but Loki prefered to think of it as speaking with volume.

"Loki, calm down. It has only been eight days, and I did not know until mere hours ago that you were here," Thor responded, seemingly unfazed by the not quite deadly projectile.

"Eight days," Loki echoed, mostly to himself. He laughed bitterly. "Eight days. For you, yes, but not here. Time passes differently here, _brother_. Trust me, it has been much longer than eight days." Loki spat the word "brother" with all the malice he could muster.

"How long?" Thor asked. His expression reflected his fear to know the answer.

"Plenty long enough for me to wholeheartedly believe that no one was ever going to care enough to see about me," Loki replied, glaring harshly.

"Forgive me, Loki. I had no way of knowing." Thor sat in a chair on the other side of the room, staring solemnly at Loki.

"Take me home, then. If you are truly sorry, you will take me home," Loki said. He was a bit embarrassed at having reduced himself to a pathetic, begging weakling, but if it meant he could return to Asgard or even simply be released from this saline-scented prison, it was worth it.

"I cannot allow you to leave here, Loki. Father gave me specific orders that I was not to aid in gaining your freedom. Brother, you know I love you, but I cannot disobey Father," Thor responded sadly. Anger flared up in the pit of Loki's stomach, and he clenched his fists, wadding up the sheet between his fingers.

"Of course," he hissed. "Why would Odin want me to be happy? It just makes no sense for a father to want his so-called child to be content, does it?" Loki's voice dripped with biting sarcasm as he spat his words at Thor.

"It is for your own good. You will leave this place a better man, but only if you listen and obey. I know that if you were given the chance to redeem yourself, you would take it gladly. This is that chance, Loki. Don't squander it," Thor responded. He was reacting surprisingly well to Loki's venomous manner of speaking. Loki narrowed his eyes at Thor. He didn't want to believe him, but at the same time he desired nothing more than the knowledge that he could at least attempt to rebuild the bond he had once shared with his parents and brother. Constantly Loki was plagued by the dark, foggy memories of the time he spent under the Other's control, being forced to heartlessly slaughter innocent-albeit annoying-humans.

He loathed existing with that black cloud surrounding him, an aura of fear and hatred that radiated from him and infected the minds of anyone who came into contact with him. Before, he had simply been overlooked or even pitied. He had craved attention and had gotten his wish, but it was the worst possible attention anyone could ever receive. The dirty looks and poisonous words, the whispered remarks exchanged between people whenever he passed by. Loki wanted so badly to reverse time and hold on for just that one more second, just long enough to be pulled back up onto the Bifrost and away from the seemingly unshakable evil that had followed him out of the abyss.

"Okay, Thor. Whatever you say." He was through with arguing. Done fighting back. Loki had given up and accepted the fact that he had wrecked his entire life, and no matter what Thor or Frigga or Odin or anyone ever said, he knew he had no chance of things ever going back to how they once were. No matter how hard he tried, he would always be Loki Laufeyson, the worthless shadow of the great and glorious Thor. A moment passed in which neither brother said a word.

"Here, Loki. The one called Juliet tells me you must take this," Thor said. Loki hadn't noticed the paper cups Thor held until just now. One contained a small white pill, and the other was a half-empty cup of water. Loki wrinkled up his nose but took the cups regardless. The weak Midgardian medicine did nothing for him. It wasn't worth arguing, for no one would take him seriously, especially since he was considered "unstable." Once he was finished, he crumpled up the empty cups and let them fall to the floor.

"I think I would like to be alone now." Loki spoke softly, his eyes lowered to a spot on the floor next to Thor's shoe.

"As you wish," Thor responded, rising from the chair and heading towards the door. He faltered for a moment, then sat next to Loki on the bed and wrapped his arms around the younger god. "I'll visit you again, and next time, our time together hopefully will not be quite as melancholy." Loki said nothing. He just stared, unmoving, even long after Thor left.

**A/N: LOOK AT THIS I DID IT I'M MAKING A STORY. Guys I'm all happy now because I'm legitimately ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING. It might be utter garbage, but it's something. I don't know, you guys tell me. Is it good so far? I like it okay, but I have zero plot planned really beyond the next chapter or so, so we'll just see how that goes...okay. If anyone-and I mean anyone at all-has any suggestions (but be nice) it would make me happy because I'm always trying to be a better writer for you guys, and your ideas and (CONSTRUCTIVE) criticism helps my skills develop. So yep. This was chapter one. Review, follow, whatever makes you happy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay cool people actually reviewed :D And to the guest reviewer: I'm glad you're liking it so far, except I don't know if I really understand what you're trying to tell me haha c: but if you're saying what I think you are, yeah the beginning is gonna be more of the characters' thoughts about stuff and like reflections and facts and just general filling in the background. I hope I interpreted your review correctly, and if not, oh well. I tried. AND IM SUPER DUPER MEGA SORRY YOU GUYS I TAKE SO LONG TO UPDATE.**

**Aaaanyway, you guys are totally cool and froody and I'm sure you all know where your towels are. I honestly don't really know where this story is going right now so just bear with me. So yeah I'll write actual story now.**

**P.S. I wrote this before seeing Thor 2 and this is maybe a teensy bit AU-ish so for now we are going to ignore everything that happened in that amazing film that I'm still fangirling over.**

**Also, I don't put the periods in SHIELD. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.**

The day had started out so blissfully normal. Tony had woken up in his lab, slumped over a table with one hand still wrapped around a now empty coffee cup. He had an awful cramp in his neck, but other than that he was actually feeling good, which was a little unusual considering he had gotten about five hours of sleep in the past three days. Rubbing his hands down his face, he leaned back in his chair and let out a long breath of air. Normally Pepper would've been down there pestering him about taking care of himself, but she was away for a conference in California.

Tony had the entire place to himself, which felt both incredibly liberating and lonesome at the same time. His only company was Jarvis and sometimes a call from another SHIELD member, but for the most part he had been alone for six days. He didn't mind much; it gave him the time and privacy to really get in the zone and work on an assortment of miscellaneous projects he had started. Most of them weren't exceptionally substantial, but since he had created a fireworks show with the suits a month ago and gotten rid of the arc reactor, he had been dreaming up a new and better way to power any future Iron Man suits. What good would he be to SHIELD (or the world for that matter) without them? A cheerleader, maybe, a consultant at best, but neither idea was appealing to him at all.

It still felt strange to not have the heavy chunk of metal and machinery shoved in his chest. The arc reactor had become a part of him, and having it removed had felt almost like losing a limb. An annoying, life-threatening limb. Tony decided he was much better off without the constant possibility that he could die from even the slightest malfunction in the reactor. The only problem was he guessed he had probably lost his protection from Loki's mystical glow stick. It didn't really matter in the long run, because he was hopefully never going to see that cocky little sack of crap ever again. Tony still got nervous every time he walked past a window.

He did find it odd that for almost a year now he hadn't heard from Thor. No one had. After Thor had taken Loki back to Asgard, SHIELD hadn't heard a peep. Or so they said. SHIELD was always keeping secrets, even from some of the most trusted agents. They hadn't even let it slip that Coulson was actually _alive_ until nearly two months after the battle ended. The entire world could be about to hurtle off into deep space, and SHIELD might not breathe a word until people were dropping dead from the cold. Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration, but Tony hated SHIELD's overextensive confidentiality protocols.

Tony always thought it was weird that despite the fact that SHIELD tended to be very hush-hush about their plans and missions, they reserved no subtlety for their elaborate tools of the trade. The big guns, the helicarrier, the high-tech gadgets. Who knows what other mind-blowing things they might have hidden away somewhere? All Tony could figure was it was a kind of "element of surprise" sort of thing. All the casual, professional-looking agents, and then boom-lethal death rays and aircraft that could've been assembled by rocket scientists from the future. Tony personally wasn't awfully fond of surprises, so it wasn't exactly the highlight of his day when he finally emerged from the lab to get some breakfast only to find Thor already there in the kitchen waiting for him.

"Whoa, hey Thunderpants. What are you doing in my kitchen?" Tony said by way of greeting, squinting against the harsh morning light streaming in through the windows. As an afterthought, Tony added, "And why didn't Jarvis tell me you were here?"

"My apologies," Jarvis piped up, but he didn't sound sorry at all.

"Were you aware that Loki is here?" Thor inquired. He had essentially ignored Tony's question in order to ask his own, and Tony found it rather irritating.

"What do you mean 'here'? Like, _here_ here? Or just on the planet here?" Either way, Tony was already bracing himself for the inevitable doom that would almost definitely come sometime before dinner.

"He is currently residing in a home for the mentally unstable," Thor answered shortly. Well, short for Thor anyway. _Huh_, Tony thought, _not really the answer I'd expected._

"Seriously? Why? I thought he was locked up on Asgard," Tony said, frowning.

"He was. Father sent him here after the citizens of Asgard grew weary of Loki's misbehavior," Thor said.

"Okay, that's cool, but I guess I'm not really picking up on how this directly affects _me_. If Reindeer Games is already locked up in his cozy little padded prison, it sounds like my work here was done a while ago." Tony raised an eyebrow at Thor as he waited for the god to speak.

"Loki says he has been here for a substantial amount of time; however, it has only been a few days on Asgard, and I was curious as to whether or not you were aware of Loki's presence in this realm," Thor replied.

"Obviously not. My question is why you came all the way here just to ask me that. Couldn't you have used your Thor powers to see into someone's mind or something?"

"I am not capable of such sorcery. The reason I came here was to ask for your assistance," Thor responded. Assistance...Tony already didn't like whatever it was that Thor was going to say.

"With what?" Tony regretted asking almost immediately afterwords. His mouth got to moving faster than his brain, and it really made life difficult at times.

"Loki. I worry about him. Unfortunately, I cannot stay on Midgard forever due to duties I have on Asgard. If you would be so kind as to visit him from time to time and make sure he is all right, I promise I will make it up to you," Thor clarified. Tony threw his head back in an elongated, overly dramatic groan.

"Okay, look," he began, regaining his composure. "I'm just going to say this how it is. Loki is an ass. He destroyed my house and threw me out my own window. In my opinion, he deserves to slowly deteriorate into an even crazier hot mess than he already is. He's with his own kind now. Just let nature take its course."

Thor wore an expression somewhere on the corner of offended and disappointed. Tony almost felt bad for a second.

"Loki was not acting entirely of his own accord at the time. He is better now."

"Why me? Why not make someone else go stare at Loki's smug face every week?"

"You are clearly the best candidate. Lady Romanov is much too insensitive and harsh, the patriotic one would not find it ethical to see to the well being of a past threat to his country, Banner gets angry much too easily to deal with Loki, and Barton would likely attempt to murder Loki the second he entered the room." Thor actually had some fairly valid points.

"So then what makes me such a fabulous choice?"

"You and Loki are similar in ways neither of you seem to see. He will find you most amusing out of everyone else, for your intelligence is a good match for his."

"You talk about me like I'm the featured item of the week on your infomercial series or something. Or maybe this is one of those hidden camera shows and you're trying to set me up with your nut job brother for entertainment value," Tony said, holding his hands in front of his face as if he were snapping pictures with a nonexistant camera. That would actually be interesting. Maybe he would retire from the whole Iron Man thing and go into show business.

"I am not sure I know what you are talking about."

"Of course you don't. Here's the deal. You're going to have to give me a pretty damn good reason to babysit Loki. I don't want to, I'm sure he doesn't want me to, and the whole thing is bound to go horrendously wrong pretty much immediately." Tony pulled a chair away from the table and sat backwards in it, folding his arms over the backrest.

"I will owe you one. Remember that I have at my disposal many eligible Asgardian women who would likely be interested in meeting a such prominent figure from a foreign realm," Thor persuaded. Tony was a little bit interested now. Yeah, yeah, it was a shallow offer. Pepper would _definitely_ have something to say about it. But it was worth it, right? A little time wasted with Loki plus-worst case scenario-a few days of the cold shoulder from Pepper in exchange for sexy alien women? Seemed fair enough.

Tony suddenly remembered it was _Loki_ he'd be dealing with. The same guy who had attempted to enslave the entire planet and destroy the population of another. Loki, the bag-of-cats-crazy megalomaniac with a god complex and serious daddy issues. Was it really worth it?

"Fine. You've convinced me. But I'll be needing a full suit of armor and a spray bottle filled with acid."

Apparently. Tony kept his expression fairly neutral, but in reality he was kicking himself for agreeing. Thor's face split into a blinding grin, showing off his perfect godly teeth, and before Tony could escape, he found himself crushed in Thor's iron grip. Once over the initial shock of having the breath forced out of his lungs, Tony rather awkwardly patted Thor on the back, waiting to be released.

"Okay, buddy, that's enough hugging," Tony said. Somehow he managed to sigh with what little air remained in his body.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

**A/N: Okay, slightly shorter chapter than the first, but it's something. I almost bailed on this story, but a couple of lovelies changed my mind. Thank you, darlings. Also I know it's been forever. Thank you all for being patient with me. Hopefully the next update won't take so long.**


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